Shri Shri Thakur’s strong denouncement of allowance system
Shri Shri Thakur : ….. I feel this allowance system did not allow these people to be spirited. The back pull is increasing. If you can put an end to that (allowance), then you will come and stand under the open sky. Whatever you have heard and seen, nobody has ever heard or seen anything like that.
Kalidas da : I feel, if I leave this allowance today, then what will I eat tomorrow?
Shri Shri Thakur : It (allowance) has become dearer to you compared to me. What you get without asking is enough to feed five men. On the other hand the little money you get from allowance is not enough to be given to others. But by receiving that I do not get imbibed inside you. What you want, the very reason for your coming here, does not get imbibed in you as well. I keep telling, but nobody listens to it.
Kalidas da : It seems our brain is blocked there.
Shri Shri Thakur : Absolutely.
Kalidas da : Still cannot handle our complexes.
Shri Shri Thakur : That (allowance) is why you are unable to do it. If you love me you can do everything. I never wanted to start giving such things(allowance). What Khyapa (Shri Shri Thakur’s younger brother) and others have done I don’t know.
Kalidasda : This is why it seems easier to work if one does not have dependent family and relatives behind.
Shri Shri Thakur : It does not make any difference if they are there or not. You give them prominence, that is why they become prominent. Rather if they are not there your ability will only decrease. Whatever you earn now will reduce further.
Kalidasda : Sometime I feel I can get going by jumping in.
Shri Shri Thakur : Yes. That Hari Gosai, how much allowance did he have? How is he managing now? He does not go on tours like you. [Harida stopped allowance at that time].
After some time Gurusdas da came and stood in front of Shri Shri Thakur. Looking at him Shri Shri Thakur said, All the time I should try to find out the drawbacks in me. Once found, we should get rid of them. Otherwise the character will not form properly. This process of finding one’s own faults and rectifying them should become automatic inside you. Till then one needs to practise them. If this practice gets ingrained in our characteristics then it won’t seem difficult. Then it starts happening naturally. Like we breathe in and out. We do not remember and do them. Do we?
Later Gurudasda said to Shri Shri Thakur, Thakur, I will stop taking allowance from this month.
There was a spark of delight in Shri Shri Thakur’s face. Making face he said, Very good. V-e-r-y g-o-o-d. Now see how the cub of a lion becomes the true lion. (After a pause) Our thought should be aligned in such a way that whatever we get we should take it as a gift of GOD. Be it a diamond ring from someone or be it an obscene insult like sister-fucker from someone. If someone uses abusive language with us we should not be annoyed. We should rather try to find out the fault within us which caused him to abuse me.
[Ref: Deeparakhhi Vol.3, p137-139]